the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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