so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize