You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
