which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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