i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Enjoy the penises
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
