Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
