that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize