guys are not supposed to queef...right?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
