...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He shit in the fireplace
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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