you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
