He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
