he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
