Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
