Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
