just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
