So drunk its hurt
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
