You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
