Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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