She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
