guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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