it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
