recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
