the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
