I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize