I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
