this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
