i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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