I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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