Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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