let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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