i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
