Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
