dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
