I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
