HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
