When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
