She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
