its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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