oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
People in love make me want to vomit
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm passing your future prison.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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