my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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