Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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