Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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