come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
