I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
