Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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