people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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