Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
