I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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