I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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