This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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