would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
