okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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