i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
