Pappa wants mamma naked
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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