My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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