everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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