apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
