Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
