It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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