Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
