Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
