My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
