shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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