Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
