i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize