He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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