Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
