I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize